We're 2 Owls. And We Review Food. And Other Stuff.
A Semi-Fracas at Frasca's - A Samson Review
After being initially being turned away at the door for what I suspect was too "owl-like of an appearance", I was only able to gain entry into this fine Roscoe Village "Pizza + Wine Bar" eatery after returning in a trench coat, straw fedora, and what I can only describe as a "comically over-sized mustache." Needless to say, these lengths are not always convenient to attain. Although, my experience will quite possibly not resemble your own, as I'm an owl, I would insist you not visit Frasca's unless you have enough time to make at least one if not two costume changes to ensure your entrance into the restaurant.
I wish I could say that was the end of my troubles. Unfortunately, after being seated finally, the waitstaff repeatedly kept asking me if I was an owl in a trench coat. And although their level of suspicion was warranted, me being an owl in a trench coat and all, their constant questioning of me and the passive aggressive way "there are no field mice on the menu" was mentioned to me seemed irritatingly non-confrontational and unprofessional. This behavior continued throughout the meal, tainting what otherwise was a fantastic dining experience.
I was there on a Sunday evening, so I enjoyed their three dollar draft specials. They have a different daily special most days of the week, including 1/2 priced bottles of wine on Mondays. The full breakdown as well as their menu can be found online at: www.frascapizzeria.com. I will say, although they had a nice mini selection of craft beers to choose from (wine is obviously being more of their specialty being a "Pizza + Wine Bar") but they didn't have many "Easy Owl Access" glasses to drink from. I'm an owl, so it's just difficult for me to drink from your "human cups."
The Frasca Fondue turned out to be an excellent choice for an appetizer. It was an italian fantina and reggiano cheese fondue blend with toasted bread, apples, and sopressata to dip. I actually used some of the same bread they brought me initially with olive oil, as that was much softer and soaked up the fondue quite well. I didn't quite enjoy the apples with the fantina and reggiano blend, but they were a nice palette cleanser after. Also, if you haven't had sopressata before, picture thinly sliced fieldmice with a spicy twist, I don't have to tell you, it's delcious and pairs well with the fondue.
For the main course, I chose a simple pepperoni pizza, which comes with tomato sauce, pepperoni, soppresssata (thinly sliced fieldmice), and fresh mozzarella. I spiced it up with some goat cheese as well. It turned out to be a wonderful choice, and I had plenty to take home. As an owl, I was strongly tempted to do some mantling, where I take my wings and shield the food I'm eating to protect it from other predators, but I remembered where I was at and ignored the urge to do so. If you can get past this restaurant's clear anti-owl bias, Frasca's will be a great night out. Bad service notwithstanding, I highly recommend Frasca's.
3.5 out of 4 Hoots.
An Apology Overdue - A Samson Editorial
Wow.
That's the main word going through my mind. That, and "hoot" and "hoot." I'm an owl afterall.
We really dropped the ball on 2OwlReviews. I don't think that point can be argued and I have no intention of arguing it. I'll let Roger speak for himself as to the reasons why we were both absent over the last 9 months, but I'll vouche for both of us when I say, sincerely, we apologize.
If 9 months seems like a long time to you, put yourself in our owl shoes. We' have a much shorter lifespan than human beings, being owls and everything. Sure, we're maximizing our 15-18 year expectancy in the wild by pretending to have a hurt wing every now and then and house-crashing in some kid's barn or garage while he "nurses" us back to help. But it's still a shortened life span in comparison despite our classic shenanigans & hijinks that bring us close to a captive life while still maintaining that we're not held captive.
I can't promise you anything from here on out.
I can tell you that, as an owl, I'll do my best to see and review new foods and report them back to you. But, those reviews will now come in at a casual rate, at best. It's hard enough to find a deserted computer, much less one that works and has the software I need to record my voice and convert it to text. I'm an owl afterall. But, with good luck, more reviews will come in, from me to you.
-Samson Owlson,
Co-Editor & Creater of 2OwlReviews
That's the main word going through my mind. That, and "hoot" and "hoot." I'm an owl afterall.
We really dropped the ball on 2OwlReviews. I don't think that point can be argued and I have no intention of arguing it. I'll let Roger speak for himself as to the reasons why we were both absent over the last 9 months, but I'll vouche for both of us when I say, sincerely, we apologize.
If 9 months seems like a long time to you, put yourself in our owl shoes. We' have a much shorter lifespan than human beings, being owls and everything. Sure, we're maximizing our 15-18 year expectancy in the wild by pretending to have a hurt wing every now and then and house-crashing in some kid's barn or garage while he "nurses" us back to help. But it's still a shortened life span in comparison despite our classic shenanigans & hijinks that bring us close to a captive life while still maintaining that we're not held captive.
I can't promise you anything from here on out.
I can tell you that, as an owl, I'll do my best to see and review new foods and report them back to you. But, those reviews will now come in at a casual rate, at best. It's hard enough to find a deserted computer, much less one that works and has the software I need to record my voice and convert it to text. I'm an owl afterall. But, with good luck, more reviews will come in, from me to you.
-Samson Owlson,
Co-Editor & Creater of 2OwlReviews
Mini Review: Thor
Towards the beginning of this movie, the Thunder God Thor, our main character in the Marvel Studios Film "Thor" flies through a ice monster's head, killing it. It's pretty cool. But then, after that, most of the movie takes place on earth where Thor has lost his powers. We just saw him fly around and kill a bunch of people and now we're supposed to be cool with him just being a confused strong guy? No thank you. The ingredients are there for a fun, enjoyable movie, but the order is all wrong. Also, if it wasn't so typical hollywood fashion, I'd cry out about the lack of good quality roles for owls in these big budget blockbusters. But, I think you're already aware of that current situation.
2.5 out of 4 Hoots.
2.5 out of 4 Hoots.
Mini Review: My Facebook Feed Since Hunting Season Began
*Editor's Note: In order to up the level of reviews we publish here at 2OwlReviews, and because certain subjects/restaurants won't merit an entire lengthy review, we've decided to introduce Mini Reviews to the site. We've toyed around with naming them "Pellet Reviews" because they'll be small... a little nugget of a review, one paragraph pellet sized. To avoid confusion, currently they'll be called "Mini Reviews."
My Facebook Feed Since Hunting Season Began
I'm no fan of deer, they're emotionless dicks. Try socializing with a bunch of deer if you want to seriously doubt your conversational small talk skills. That being said, there's something very Abu Ghraib about people posing in front of these dead creatures. I've seen so many 'almost lindy' photo shoots and adults placing their children near these dead carcasses. Well, it's enough to make an owl want to log off of facebook altogether.
0 out of 4 Hoots.
I'm sure their is a pride and joy in the act of hunting another animal, but frankly, I don't care to see the end results and we don't give a hoot.
My Facebook Feed Since Hunting Season Began
I'm no fan of deer, they're emotionless dicks. Try socializing with a bunch of deer if you want to seriously doubt your conversational small talk skills. That being said, there's something very Abu Ghraib about people posing in front of these dead creatures. I've seen so many 'almost lindy' photo shoots and adults placing their children near these dead carcasses. Well, it's enough to make an owl want to log off of facebook altogether.
0 out of 4 Hoots.
I'm sure their is a pride and joy in the act of hunting another animal, but frankly, I don't care to see the end results and we don't give a hoot.
Tzatziki Grill - A Roger Review
At 2485 North Clark Street in Chicago sits a little spot called the Tzatziki Grill. It's a great opportunity for an owl like me to have some lamb. The last time I tried to eat a lamb things got a little out of claw. Let's just say my eyes were bigger than my stomach. They have to be big, since I need to hunt and all. I didn't know what I was thinking, trying to take down a whole lamb all by myself. I managed to get one leg down the ol' owl gullet, but my beak wouldn't snap the bone. This meant essentially that the lamb just had its leg stuck in my throat. I couldn't take any more of it down, what with my stomach already being full, and before I knew it I was stuck. The lamb got up and, to my dismay, started walking around. The hunter had now become the prey, and I had turned into a peg leg of sorts. The 14 vertebrae in my neck were all kinds of crinkled, and this lamb was stomping my stomach into the ground every time he took a step. I looked ridiculous. I was in severe pain and 3 hours later, when I coughed up the pellet, it basically just looked like a black sock around its foot. The lamb then asked me to do the other 3 feet so they matched. I declined.
The lesson I took was to ALWAYS have your lamb prepared for you. I'm an owl. It's just not worth the trouble of taking it down yourself. That's where the Tzatziki Grill comes in. It combines lamb with beef to make a gyro-style meat, taking all the trouble out of my talons and putting that meat in a wrap where it belongs. They have cucumber and pepperoncini, amongst other things, and while it feels more like a burrito, this wrap is all Greek to me. Pair that up with infinite refills on the soda fountain and fresh cut fries (Don't get me started on how hard it is for an owl to get a proper potato) and you've got a recipe for success.
No frills, no nonsense, no worries. I'll eat here again.
3.5 out of 4 hoots.
The lesson I took was to ALWAYS have your lamb prepared for you. I'm an owl. It's just not worth the trouble of taking it down yourself. That's where the Tzatziki Grill comes in. It combines lamb with beef to make a gyro-style meat, taking all the trouble out of my talons and putting that meat in a wrap where it belongs. They have cucumber and pepperoncini, amongst other things, and while it feels more like a burrito, this wrap is all Greek to me. Pair that up with infinite refills on the soda fountain and fresh cut fries (Don't get me started on how hard it is for an owl to get a proper potato) and you've got a recipe for success.
No frills, no nonsense, no worries. I'll eat here again.
3.5 out of 4 hoots.
Whitney - A Samson Review
WHITNEY, Season 1, Episode 3 "Silent Treatment"
Occasionally we'll review things here at 2OwlsReviews that reach outside the areas of "food" and "trees to perch on." This is one of those things.
I didn't plan to watch the 3rd episode of NBC's new Primetime sitcom "Whitney." It wasn't something I set out to do, but a neighbor of mine who lived in a house and owned a television and who WASN'T an owl had it on... and I caught myself watching it from my home across the street. I'm an owl, I have excellent sight and hearing. And my curiosity sucked me in and made me lose a half hour. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but 8:30 Central is prime hunting time for me, not when I'm winding down and settling into bed. I'm an owl. I'm reviewing "Whitney," so hopefully you won't feel so inclined to check it out.
"Whitney" is written, created by and starring "Whitney" Cummings. It's a throwback show to be sure, especially on the otherwise studio audience free Thursday night lineup that precedes it. But it's also a throwback in that it seems to be set in a hip version of the late 90s. "Whitney" seems to alternate between being an ironic play and being a long, slightly humorous monologue that has been assigned to be delivered by a handful of different people.
And when it's not seemingly being an ironically bad sitcom from the late 90s it's having Whitney or various characters propose a food suggestion or an item in everyday life, just to have a second character riff on what's wrong with that item and/or food suggestion. But the same reason that feels gross watching it on television is the same reason that it would feel gross in real life. I don't want someone to do an act for me, or to give me previously written jokes or quips when I ask them if they want to get Chinese or go to the dog park. I want someone to have a conversation with me and to react in the moment. Beginning Stand Up Comics will try to sneak their act into everyday conversation and it feels gross because they're not being genuine, they were just waiting to be set up to say their funny thing. And that's what "Whitney" seems to be all about. Different characters take turns setting up different characters to riff on a thing... and then they just walk away. It's gross.
This specific episode involved main character Whitney accusing her boyfriend Alex of checking out a lady while they stand in line for coffee. Alex denies that he was in fact checking out this lady. Whitney decides it's appropriate then to give Alex the silent treatment which ends up stretching at least 2 days. Let me repeat that, she gives him the silent treatment for at least two days because he checked out a girl in a coffee place and then said he didn't. Now, we owls are solitary creatures. We don't hang out much with each other. But when we do, it's agreed upon that we don't act like super big bitches for pretty much no reason at all. We're owls, not female dogs.
If you think the next step in this story would involve Alex enjoying the silent treatment that he's getting, because you know how men in relationships don't like their girlfriends to talk at them? Well... congratulations, you just guessed the next beat. And if next you think... well, what if Whitney realizes this and then goes the other way with things, and does all the annoying stereotypical girlfriend talk you can think of, if you just recently watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days... well then you might have written this episode, or you were wondering out loud what would be the easiest natural progression from what you've seen so far and what would match in tone and quality how awful the show has been up to that point.
And it all ends with a "guys are like this, girls are like that!" speech from Alex. If that sounds like a good sit com to you or a charming way to spend half an hour... well, I've got some pellets to sell you that are NOT filled with mice bones and my waste.
0 out of 4 Hoots
We Don't Give A Hoot.
Occasionally we'll review things here at 2OwlsReviews that reach outside the areas of "food" and "trees to perch on." This is one of those things.
I didn't plan to watch the 3rd episode of NBC's new Primetime sitcom "Whitney." It wasn't something I set out to do, but a neighbor of mine who lived in a house and owned a television and who WASN'T an owl had it on... and I caught myself watching it from my home across the street. I'm an owl, I have excellent sight and hearing. And my curiosity sucked me in and made me lose a half hour. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but 8:30 Central is prime hunting time for me, not when I'm winding down and settling into bed. I'm an owl. I'm reviewing "Whitney," so hopefully you won't feel so inclined to check it out.
"Whitney" is written, created by and starring "Whitney" Cummings. It's a throwback show to be sure, especially on the otherwise studio audience free Thursday night lineup that precedes it. But it's also a throwback in that it seems to be set in a hip version of the late 90s. "Whitney" seems to alternate between being an ironic play and being a long, slightly humorous monologue that has been assigned to be delivered by a handful of different people.
And when it's not seemingly being an ironically bad sitcom from the late 90s it's having Whitney or various characters propose a food suggestion or an item in everyday life, just to have a second character riff on what's wrong with that item and/or food suggestion. But the same reason that feels gross watching it on television is the same reason that it would feel gross in real life. I don't want someone to do an act for me, or to give me previously written jokes or quips when I ask them if they want to get Chinese or go to the dog park. I want someone to have a conversation with me and to react in the moment. Beginning Stand Up Comics will try to sneak their act into everyday conversation and it feels gross because they're not being genuine, they were just waiting to be set up to say their funny thing. And that's what "Whitney" seems to be all about. Different characters take turns setting up different characters to riff on a thing... and then they just walk away. It's gross.
This specific episode involved main character Whitney accusing her boyfriend Alex of checking out a lady while they stand in line for coffee. Alex denies that he was in fact checking out this lady. Whitney decides it's appropriate then to give Alex the silent treatment which ends up stretching at least 2 days. Let me repeat that, she gives him the silent treatment for at least two days because he checked out a girl in a coffee place and then said he didn't. Now, we owls are solitary creatures. We don't hang out much with each other. But when we do, it's agreed upon that we don't act like super big bitches for pretty much no reason at all. We're owls, not female dogs.
If you think the next step in this story would involve Alex enjoying the silent treatment that he's getting, because you know how men in relationships don't like their girlfriends to talk at them? Well... congratulations, you just guessed the next beat. And if next you think... well, what if Whitney realizes this and then goes the other way with things, and does all the annoying stereotypical girlfriend talk you can think of, if you just recently watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days... well then you might have written this episode, or you were wondering out loud what would be the easiest natural progression from what you've seen so far and what would match in tone and quality how awful the show has been up to that point.
And it all ends with a "guys are like this, girls are like that!" speech from Alex. If that sounds like a good sit com to you or a charming way to spend half an hour... well, I've got some pellets to sell you that are NOT filled with mice bones and my waste.
0 out of 4 Hoots
We Don't Give A Hoot.
Domino's Pizza - a Samson Review
Domino's Pizza Delivery - Medium Pepperoni & Bacon Hand Tossed Pizza w/Breadsticks.
On a surprisingly hot, but quite pleasant autumn afternoon, I decided to treat myself to some pizza for lunch. It was Friday afterall, the end of a hectic work week. And by work, I basically mean, sitting in trees. Flying around sporadically. I wanted something, cheap and easy, but still delicious, like a field mouse but NOT a field mouse if you get what I'm saying. I remember seeing some commercials for a company telling me that their pizza wasn't very good, but they were working on it and that apparently they were putting a guarantee on the box that the pizza was now good. Well, what's good for the goose (my friend Sperel, who is a goose, and likes Domino's) is good for the Gander (my friend Steve Gander, who is also a goose), so I decided that Domino's it would be.
Finding a coupon online, I ordered 2 medium 2 topping pizzas, some would take this opportunity to try two different types of pizza, but I'm a fan of stocking up. So I ordered a pepperoni & bacon and a pepperoni & bacon. And some breadsticks. If you haven't ordered online from Domino's in a while, you're in for a treat. Not only is the process quick and easy, but after placing your order, you'll be taken to a screen that updates you and shows you exactly what step of the pizza cooking and then delivering process your pizzas are currently residing in. This is an example of technology done right. Some would say it's an unnecessary convenience. But, I'm often amused by bright lights being shown on me in the middle of the evening, because I'm an owl. So, I enjoyed it.
As for the pizzas themselves, they were good... about what I was expecting from a chain pizza place, certainly nothing to shake a stick at. The pepperoni and bacon provided a nice counter balance to the melted cheese and marinara sauce gracing this hand tossed pizza. The Italian seasoned crust was a nice new addition to "new dominos" and one that I enjoyed quite a bit. I ordered a garlic dipping sauce to go along with my bread sticks and used it constantly with the ends of my crust. I feel I would have enjoyed them just fine without the dipping sauce. Unfortunately, what made the crust special, was what went a little overboard in the bread sticks. There's such a thing as being over seasoned... and these bread sticks understand that quite well.
Also, a minor quip, but one of the two pizzas was not properly cut into slices. It seems in their rush to get it out the door, they forgot to properly quality check, leaving it unsliced. That wasn't a big deal to me, I'm an owl. I eat it by pecking my head down and grabbing off little bits of pieces and then looking around nervously as I swallowed them down. But I imagine that would be an annoyance to someone with hands.
2.5 out of 4 hoots.
On a surprisingly hot, but quite pleasant autumn afternoon, I decided to treat myself to some pizza for lunch. It was Friday afterall, the end of a hectic work week. And by work, I basically mean, sitting in trees. Flying around sporadically. I wanted something, cheap and easy, but still delicious, like a field mouse but NOT a field mouse if you get what I'm saying. I remember seeing some commercials for a company telling me that their pizza wasn't very good, but they were working on it and that apparently they were putting a guarantee on the box that the pizza was now good. Well, what's good for the goose (my friend Sperel, who is a goose, and likes Domino's) is good for the Gander (my friend Steve Gander, who is also a goose), so I decided that Domino's it would be.
Finding a coupon online, I ordered 2 medium 2 topping pizzas, some would take this opportunity to try two different types of pizza, but I'm a fan of stocking up. So I ordered a pepperoni & bacon and a pepperoni & bacon. And some breadsticks. If you haven't ordered online from Domino's in a while, you're in for a treat. Not only is the process quick and easy, but after placing your order, you'll be taken to a screen that updates you and shows you exactly what step of the pizza cooking and then delivering process your pizzas are currently residing in. This is an example of technology done right. Some would say it's an unnecessary convenience. But, I'm often amused by bright lights being shown on me in the middle of the evening, because I'm an owl. So, I enjoyed it.
As for the pizzas themselves, they were good... about what I was expecting from a chain pizza place, certainly nothing to shake a stick at. The pepperoni and bacon provided a nice counter balance to the melted cheese and marinara sauce gracing this hand tossed pizza. The Italian seasoned crust was a nice new addition to "new dominos" and one that I enjoyed quite a bit. I ordered a garlic dipping sauce to go along with my bread sticks and used it constantly with the ends of my crust. I feel I would have enjoyed them just fine without the dipping sauce. Unfortunately, what made the crust special, was what went a little overboard in the bread sticks. There's such a thing as being over seasoned... and these bread sticks understand that quite well.
Also, a minor quip, but one of the two pizzas was not properly cut into slices. It seems in their rush to get it out the door, they forgot to properly quality check, leaving it unsliced. That wasn't a big deal to me, I'm an owl. I eat it by pecking my head down and grabbing off little bits of pieces and then looking around nervously as I swallowed them down. But I imagine that would be an annoyance to someone with hands.
2.5 out of 4 hoots.
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